So Here Goes...

Ever since I can remember, I had a plan for my life.  I'd have a great job doing whatever those people did when they went to the office.  I'd be married at 23 to a wonderful man who loved everything about me.  We'd have our first child by 26, a boy of course.  Our second, a girl, would arrive by 28.  From there, we'd travel, own homes in various parts of the country and sit back and enjoy the rest of my life - whatever that meant to a bright-eyed 9-year-old.   

Someone should have told that 9-year-old it wasn't so.  Not that I am complaining about where I am in my life today at 29 and 8 months.  (But who's counting?)  I have a great life and am truly blessed.  It is just not what I had envisioned it would be at 29 and 8 months.  

Turning 29 was not the easiest thing I have done, emotionally anyway.  Maybe it was my friend who traveled to Vegas with me to celebrate telling everyone it was my 30th birthday or maybe because I knew this will be the last birthday I celebrate in my 20s.  Or maybe it was that unexpected text message from an ex that reminded me of my past mistakes, roads I should not have taken and time lost.  Whatever the reason, the minute I turned 29, there was this instant ticking inside my head like I was suddenly Captain Hook and that darn crocodile was EVERYWHERE. Time was about the only thing I could think about.   And by the way, the person who said biological clocks don't exist has never turned 29.  And just like every other ridiculous mini-crisis before it, I turned to my friends who told me I was nuts, to calm down and that 30 wasn't a big deal.  Yet, almost every single one of them reminds me how much younger they are and then under their breath mumble something like "better you than me."  Note to all you 20 somethings out there - make sure all your friends are older than you, even if it is only by a few days... I have a feeling the journey to 30 would be a little easier.   

Either way, I got over the initial crisis of being 29 with only one year left to live it up in my 20s and started to forget about the marriage, the kids and traveling the world.  Those were things that I knew would not happen the way I pictured by age 30.  What I did start to look at though, were all the things in my life I could impact by 2009.  These were things I had been talking about for sometime, yet never ventured to actually do.  There were fun things like driving a race car or singing karaoke in a place other than my car, bedroom or shower.  Then there were more serious things like my Faith, my general outlook on life and my overwhelming fear of rejection.

So, I made a bucket list to 30 and instead of what I normally do - make a list in a notebook and bury it under the piles of other things laying around my room to be found again only when I do my once-a-year deep cleaning - this time, I decided to make it public and write about the journey I am taking to accomplish this list of mine.  Now, I will warn, this may not be the most fascinating thing you have ever read, but I do promise it will be real and honest, as I don't know how else to be.  I hope you learn a little bit more about me and in turn, a little bit more about yourself and your own bucket list... ENJOY!